Well folks, I've found myself a new drinking buddy. The Malaysian pen-tailed shrew subsists entirely on fermented nectar from the pertam palm plant, which can be as high as 3.8 percent alcohol.
A new study found that the tiny animal subsists on a diet roughly equivalent to 100 percent beer... Amazingly, though the tree shrews drink like fish, they don't seem to get drunk. The researchers, led by Frank Wiens of Germany's University of Bayreuth, videotaped regular nocturnal feeding sessions and followed the movements of radio-tagged tree shrews. Though they measured blood-alcohol concentrations in the animals higher than those in humans with similarly high alcohol intake, the tree shrews showed no signs of intoxication.
Well folks, no sense hiding it now -- I had sex with a shrew. The pen-tailed variety, dear reader, is my progeny.
Thanks to Chad, the only man who's ever come close to beating my pen-tailed progeny in a drinking contest.