Unacceptable: This Freaking Keyboard
Wow, and I thought my roommate's Cheeto and pube keyboard was bad. He's got nothing on this guy. It looks like he's trying to burn his house down. Hrrm, let's dive deeper into the mind of the psychopath behind this epic grossness by analyzing the picture.
Evidence: He likes smoking. A lot. And Lucky Strikes too. He often forgets about his burning cigarettes and/or passes out at the desk.
Analysis: Heroin addict.
Evidence: Package of Pepcid Duo.
Analysis: Suffers from heartburn.
Evidence: Two uneaten baked potatoes, still wrapped in aluminum foil.
Analysis: Likes sour cream.
Evidence: Bottle of Gordon's gin just out of frame on the far right.
Analysis: Wait a minute -- that's my keyboard! Damn I have womanly hands.
Thanks Shawn, you can have one of the potatoes if you want