Man Grows Old Right Before Your Eyes
Wow, I really need to ramp up my efforts to live a more stress free life. I don't wanna end up like this guy, who, in the span of three years, went from a young dapper lad to an old diaper clad. Apparently he's a Japanese news reporter that let the stress of the job get the best of him. Listen, I've got a piece of advice for those of you out there that feel like you may be headed down the same path. Hookers. They help you live a happy, stress (but not necessarily VD) free life. I'd still frequent them if I didn't get wrapped up in this whole "marriage" thing. It's seriously killing me, and I've only been hitched for two years. It started with gradual hair loss, then a strange rash. Next came a chest pain, and now I can't hear (over the sound of my wife's blathering piehole). Oh no -- oh no. Hold on a sec. "Hey, wait, please don't go -- I need you. PLEASE. No, not them too. Come on, maybe tonight'll be the night. No I haven't been saying that for two years! Come back, I beg you!" *sobbing* Well folks, it's official -- my proverbial sausage has packed his metaphorical meatballs and left. Life as I know it, is over. I might as well become a leper.