Chainsaw Tongue Thingy Is Completely Wrong
This is one for the ladies. It's a female pleasuring device made from a chainsaw with fake tongues instead of blades. And even though it looks incredibly dangerous it'll still probably put my company (Mustache Rides, Inc.) out of business. It was made by a U.S. based pron company that specializes in making very wrong things like this (whose website you should definitely not go to at work). Oh, and please nobody send this link to my girlfriend.
UPDATE: Okay, who did it? I make one simple request and somebody immediately goes and sends the link to my ladyfriend. I thought we were cool. Now she called and broke up with me, citing "irreconcilable differences between you and a vajayjay licking chainsaw". Thanks a lot, whoever you are.
An uncensored pic of the thing (which has a sticker on it that says F#@$ing Machines and has a lewd graphic), and a NSFW link to Wired (you can find a link to the company that made the machine on that page but I'm warning you, it burnt my retinas out) with even more completely unacceptable sex thingies that are perverting the world's youth.
Thanks Judy, I hold you partially responsibly for my break up as well since you brought the device to my attention.