The $30 BBQ Sword is a grilling accessory made to look like a sword. As you can see, it features a nice hilt and the end is pronged so you can stab meat. As an added bonus the cardboard box it comes in has a mask cutout so you can pilfer your neighbor's meat without revealing your identity.
Whether you're prancing around the garden making a total Athos of yourself, flummoxing guests with your frankly ridiculous mask or thrusting away at a regiment of seditious quarterpounders, the BBQ Sword is guaranteed to become your new favorite cooking implement. Most impressive of all we've managed to write (this entire review) without mentioning pork swords. On guard!
I want one. Oh, and what the hell is a pork sword? Is that a slang term for hot dong or cockwurst? Because, if it is, whoever wrote that review is vulgar. Grow up already.
Thanks to Jackie, who apparently works for the company and should send me a free one of these.