Paintball Turret Will Keep Kids Off Your Lawn
The EMT Wireless Paintball Sentry Turret is just what I need to keep those damn neighborhood kids off my lawn and out of my flowerbeds.
The $1959 setup includes the paintball turret, a substantial tripod base, CO2 tanks, a color CCD camera with video transmitter and a wireless remote with a nice little 3.5-inch monitor (or a 7.5-inch upgrade pictured above) so you can aim at your unsuspecting victims. The controller's joysticks pan and tilt the turret, and can fire up to 400 paintballs with the push of a button. The whole rig runs on rechargeable batteries and CO2, so you can use it anywhere (although there is a slight up-charge for weatherproofing).
You can even upgrade to a high-res camera, big-screen goggles, and a larger ball hopper. Holy hellfire do I need one of these. Just think of all the fun you could have with those religious zealots that come by trying to pass off their literature. Just kidding, I wouldn't shoot them. I like to see the expressions on their faces when I answer the door pantless with a beer in one hand and my girlfriend's ass in the other. "Ooh, sorry, looks like we caught you at a bad time, we'll just leave this pamphlet here by the door." "Hey honey, show them that trick you do to pick up the dollars when you're stripping."