Apr 8 2008Best Infomercial Ever, I Mean That, EVER


Now we've seen a lot of awesome freaking commercials here at Geekologie, but this one may take the cake. It's for the $600 Beamz Laser Music System (Beamz Lazer Muzic Zyztem was already taken). It's basically six lasers, and anytime you break a beam with your fingers/hands a different sound is triggered. You positively HAVE TO WATCH the entire 3:00 video (after the jump). Now I've been known to set up a camera and film myself doing stupid things before, but never have I ever looked this ridiculous. It's almost too much to bear thinking these people are real and can wake up in the morning and face themselves in the mirror. That said, the laser thing they're playing is the awesomest freaking thing I've ever seen.

MUST SEE VIDEO after the jump.

Beamz Infomercial Is Most Stupid Promo Video In History [gizmodo]

Thanks to Billy Avenue, who just beat up Jimmy Boulevard to gain control of the intersection, for the tip

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Reader Comments

Is it the 90s?

the air guitar beat this years ago

be a hero.

More Cowbell! Now that's what I'm talkin bout!

Ooo, even saying that with sarcasm sounds queer.

they also seem so terribly white

anyway this guy clearly went and bought it, then replanted the lasers in several regions of his body (most important region being the head) to become the most real person ever to have gone to your next best idiot party island.go him.

I have a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!

You are familiar with the theremin (circa 1919), right? Granted, this new creation is incredibly more 90's, and therefor incredibly more awesome. If you're not familiar though, look no further:

lol found this video of a live beamz concert on youtube... wtf @.@

wrong. but I m convinced it's the coolest instrument i've ever seen though (including the ukulele and a particularly small ukulele that goes by a different name). Very suitable for... quiet reverie.

The high-five at the beginning is what totally makes this video. I wish that they had a high-five montage.

Wow, I want like a dozen of those, so me and my super-cool friends can wear sunglasses and high-five each other after a really good smooth jazz jam session (or smazz sesh, as we say). Then we can go for a ride on our Segways and blow each other.

what a piece of crap.

this one is homemade, therefore unique and way better. and from chile.


The hero in the sunglasses looks like a real musician, while he's signalling to the other meerkats offscreen where the delicious grubs are.

Meh, Bjork was already using a similar device back in 1997.

That was excruciating to watch. Wow... If I was one of the guys in that video, I would shoot myself.

I secretly want to try one of those. Sans camera and rhythmless cracker friends. I suspect a lot of people here do too.

let me tell u ppl one thing about this instrument:

it's god's way of punishing us for gay marriage!

f*ck u all!

JJ u freak!


So THAT'S how elevator music is made?!

This is a toy for rich white guys who have no talent or musical taste, nothing more.
WANK values at maximum, Captain.

one of the guys did the exact same movement over and over and each time the tone went down. say wha?

This could have serious applications in the porn industry. Or maybe not. Either way, it's worth thinking about it. Totally worth thinking about it.

I like how they said: "everyone can do it!" while showing the only girl. Its almost like women are equal now!

awesome vid... totally wish I could have been in it...


"With the beamz, there should be no performance anxiety at all because — whichever beam you break, in whatever sequence — your music is guaranteed to be harmonious. All discordant chords and sour notes have been programmed out so everyone plays great."

That's from the Sharper Image product description, so I think we can all stop comparing it to a theremin. I'd say it's more similar to, say, a tape player... Except that apparently it can only be played with the appropriate head motion (exaggerated nodding, emotional eyes-closing while meerkat gesturing, etc.).

BUTTF*** BUDDHA!!!! How F***ING GAY can you get?????????

I agree with missy.

Please don't compare it to the theremin which, although seriously oddball, requires a fair amount of skill to actually produce something greater than just noise.

I received the "exciting news" about this in several email blasts from Sharper Image last week and tried to watch it all the way through but failed. The douche quotient on this insanely high.

how did they get away with saying "More Cowbell!"? That's practically blasphemous

I love how they say "everyone sounds good" implying that an even idiot or retard could operate it and then they show some asian woman, are they puting down asians or women? I cant tell.

Honestly, who needs sex when you can have more cowbell?

I'm not big on instrumentals. They should have had Ty Zonday singing with them. Especially if he broke a beam with his chin when he "moved away from the mike to breathe".

More cowbell?! How about more SmokingGirl?! Huh? Hmm? Huh?

SmokingGirl, where have you been? You don't expect me to run this whole production do you? Besides, I don't think this relationship via the comments section of Geekologie is creepy enough for my taste.

No Mom, I will not adjust your roll up stockings! I'm busy down here with my new friend! Now close the door and leave me a...a...Did you make pudding!? OK, leave it and be gone!!

That is really stupid

come on.. we all know all of you retards secretly want to try playing it... even if it is a little gay.

I dont get your obsession with bald guys

that kid would have created a better effect if his masturbation techniques were correct @ 1:33

pedophile alert @ 3:08

I must agree that the Theramin takes SOME skill to play, while this...well...a swarm of flying insects, pollen grains, fish, or cat swatting could play this contraption.



The spiderman-guy video: weird
The Beabz "concert": stupid
The chilean video: awesome; the Tercermundo Sound Station looks cool

Lol, "everyone sounds great", after that I spected something like "even if you are a f***ing chinese hooker"

it'd be great once i got my 24" pythons on it. but right now its just a bunch of plastic with nothing going for it.

DUDE, the jam session was so gay

freaking too on theremin

Ewww. I spent the entire time debating whether that was a fake or not. Who the hell would want such a piece of crap? I can play better things on my stupid little yamaha keyboard that I got for christmas when I was six. That's how bad this thing really is. It's outdone by an ancient children's toy.

F***, all that's going through my head is how much money must have been spent making this, this...demon from the pits of hell!

f*** was that painful.

From best I could tell, it seemed like breaking the light beam just triggered the next pre-selected note on some awesome MIDI song..

I wonder if it comes with software to make your own songs... I'll investigate.

arrjrjrhghghhhh, my eyes, my ears



Hey, just because none of you have the lack of vision and talent required to create incredible elevator music by breaking laser beams with your chubby fist doesn't mean you have to mock this incredible innovation that allows retards and no-talent ass-clowns to play prerecorded porn music. You detractors! Denegrators of other people's joy! Shame on all of you. Damn your eyes.

Is that Al Gore @ 1:30?

you always make me laugh when i come here, thank you whoever the hell you are.

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE??????!!!!!!

that thing just said "more cowbell" WTF this had got to be a joke!!

2 words: quiet reverie.

be a hero!

Ha ha ha! Everyone sounds great, even little asian women! More cowbell!

I like the quiet reverie guy.

I'd totally strip naked and play this with my cock and balls. It would be awesome

This has got to be the lamest product I have ever seen. It would make more sense it they were marketing it as a toy for your cat or something.

And I still can't believe it says 'more cowbell' near the end of it. Saturday Night Live should sue.

Its sexist is what!

All them fella's 'busting a toon', then the caption 'anyone sounds great' with the only woman shown in the advert.
F***. That.

So it's basically a pre-recorded song(s), with all of the separate parts on mute until you break each beam. So you can play the whole thing by not moving your hands at all, just blocking the beams. Ridiculous. Hilarious commercial though. The 'beamz concert' linked to above made me want to leave this planet forever.

My cat would love this

OMG! The guys playing the rasta beats got me! Did u see that guy's face? Thank you for making my day!

What a shit product. Seriously. Why lasers? you could do the same thing with 6 buttons. It can only play pre recorded crap too. useless trash.

I will stick to my Marshall and Gibson, digital crap will never get this good.

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