Being pressured by your significant other to pop the question? Are you just not ready for that kind of commitment but want to get in some good asking practice? Enter the USB Engagement ring. Made as a set of two, they can be connected to transfer data to each other (similar to how you can transfer disease with your privates). Now I don't think I need to tell you this is not the way to get engaged. Nope, this is the way to get kneed in the balls. Unless you're down on one knee, in which case it's the way to get your teeth kicked out.
Oh, and as a side note, those are definitely both man hands in the picture. And yes, the pimp in the back is the same minister that officiated my wedding.