Flush The John With A Step Of Your Foot
A toilet flushing handle can contain up to 50,000 bacteria per square inch. So I'll stop licking them, but I'm not going to drop $20 on the Footflush. The Footflush is a foot shaped (because you'd have no idea how the f*** to use it otherwise) device you step on in order to flush the john. They hook up to any regular toilet and make the world a better place for germaphobes and people with no arms. But here's a novel idea -- that's free -- kick the damn handle like a normal person. I don't care if it is a little-handled home toilet, you kick that mother. You do it on the big handles in public restrooms, why not at home as well? I prefer the running jumpkick technique. However, due to its difficulty I can only recommend it for intermediate/advanced level kickers. Basically you run, jump, and kick. But be warned: one time I was pissing at Arby's and went up for the flush but miscalculated and ended up busting through the wall and into the kitchen. I told them the commode exploded and demanded a free turnover.