Flush The John With A Step Of Your Foot
A toilet flushing handle can contain up to 50,000 bacteria per square inch. So I'll stop licking them, but I'm not going to drop $20 on the Footflush. The Footflush is a foot shaped (because you'd have no idea how the f*** to use it otherwise) device you step on in order to flush the john. They hook up to any regular toilet and make the world a better place for germaphobes and people with no arms. But here's a novel idea -- that's free -- kick the damn handle like a normal person. I don't care if it is a little-handled home toilet, you kick that mother. You do it on the big handles in public restrooms, why not at home as well? I prefer the running jumpkick technique. However, due to its difficulty I can only recommend it for intermediate/advanced level kickers. Basically you run, jump, and kick. But be warned: one time I was pissing at Arby's and went up for the flush but miscalculated and ended up busting through the wall and into the kitchen. I told them the commode exploded and demanded a free turnover.
Kick-flush your home toilet with FootFlush [dvice]
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I dunno, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP WIPING YOUR ASS WITH IT. Why in the hell toilet seats are the litmus test for how dirty something else is is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with dingleberries. Which, fun fact: are actually considered the grossest of all berries... / Continue →
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I know not all of you readers are FAKE! asshats. I'm sure some of you are actually good people, who make a valued contribution to society. And some of you are straight pervs. And others, like reader David, are inventors. David developed a towel that helps solve the age-old ... / Continue →
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If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- just pee in the freaking shower like a normal person. Well for those of you out there that want to go green but don't want to pee on your foot, there's the WashUP washing machine/toilet combo. Basically after a load of ... / Continue →
