Donkey Kong Jungle Juice Is A Misnomer
We've seen several video game inspired energy drinks here at Geekologie, and even a Nintendo offering, but now comes another -- Donkey Kong Jungle Juice. Spotted at the Nintendo World Store in New York, the drink comes packed with all those sperm-reducing agents* energy drinks are known for. Apparently the concoction is pink, smells like bubble gum, and has the flavor of carbonated Kool-Aid. There are theories circulating that it's the exact same stuff that's in the Mario can, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was. You can score a can from Anime Castle for $2.25 if you still want to try. I'm going to pass though, as a matter of principle. Everyone knows jungle juice is alcoholic and does not come in a Donkey Kong can. No sir, jungle juice is a combination of Everclear and every other kind of liquor you have in your college apartment mixed with Hawaiian Punch and Sunny D. You scoop it right out of the cooler it was mixed in with a Solo cup. It gets you drunk as shit and makes you puke and pass out on the bathroom floor while people bash your brain in with the door trying to get in to take a piss.
*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. It has, however, been evaluated by Deez Nuts.