John Howard used to be a roller skating ring owner that wore a leisure suit and laughed when kids fell or slammed into the wall. That is, until he started freezing pickle juice and selling it to customers. That's when he realized his dream of becoming the frozen pickle king of Texas. And now he is, with his website PickleSickle.com selling over 20,000 kerosene cucumbers each month. You can pick up a box of 16 for $18, or 32 for $28. Or you can just fish one out of the big jar at a gas station and freeze it yourself. And get me one of those reddish pickled eggs while you're at it. I love those things. If pickles aren't your thing though, I have recently introduced a similar product to market. They're called Turdsickles. They're frozen turds. Buy now before it's too late -- they're really selling like
hot cakes cold turds. I suck at product design.