For anyone out there that feels like their significant other might be unfaithful, there's the Checkmate Infidelity Home Test. For $50 you too can own your very own CSI-esque spooge detection kit. Good for up to ten samples, the kit determines if there have been any questionable fluids on items such as undergarments. Gross. Whatever happened to the old fashioned screaming accusation session? That's how you get the truth out of a lover, lots of yelling. Eventually they start crying and admitting to things. Sometimes they'll even admit to things you didn't even suspect them of (this sucks and often adds to the pain). I for one don't need this kit though, because I know my girlfriend is faithful. Partly because she's such a great girl (I love you honey), but mostly because she's chained to the water heater in the basement.
Thanks again to Melissa, who has never been unfaithful, for the tip