I've never really had a problem with the average of 141 seconds it takes bread to toast. It's only two minutes and change, just long enough to mix a morning cocktail and get the jelly out of the fridge. But if you can't stand the wait, maybe the Speedy Slice toaster is for you. Designed by Oliver Newberry and being produced by Heinz, the thing toasts bread in only 50 seconds. It uses two ducted 10,000 RPM fans to blow hot air over the toast from both sides and features mysterious "nylon-based laser technology", which in layman's terms means the toaster is a laser guided missile jet engine. You ever had a piece of toast after your damn toaster sucked the cat into its engine? It's hairy and tastes like shit.
Note: I just noticed that the unit appears to only heat a single piece of bread at a time. So, while my toaster may take 141 seconds, it heats four pieces at once, whereas this unit would take 200. So, yeah, baked beans on toast, gross.
Heinz Speedy Slice Turbofan Toaster [ohgizmo]