USB Retro Vacuum Has No Attachments
The USB Desk Vacuum Cleaner is a USB powered vacuum cleaner that can (allegedly) suck up dust and crumbs from your desk. They run $34 from bimbambanana and come in that awesome brown and tan color combo. According to the product page, "With classic retro style, you can suck your way to success!" Now I happen to know all about sucking your way to success, because that's why I'm the famous actress I am today, and never was there any "classic retro style" involved. You can totally do it without that.
Product Page [thanks to Chloe, a woman who takes cleaning seriously, for the tip]