Best Product Ever Ever Ever: The Wine Rack
The Wine Rack, made by thebeerbelly.com (who also produce a fake beer belly to sneak beer/liquor into places) is a sports bra looking alcohol container! That's right ladies (and sick men), now you can sneak booze into the movies for me. For only $30 you can buy my undying love and affection. I've always dreamed of suckling bourbon from a woman's teat, and now my dream is reality. This would be perfect for my girlfriend, because she's flatter than hell. Did I just say that? I was lying, she's concave. No boobies whatsoever. No word on when they'll be available, but suffice it to say this will be the hottest present of the year. And ladies: If you don't mind wearing the Wine Rack for me, I'm yours forever. I'll even cook and do the laundry. Just kidding, you know that's your job.