Dreams Really Do Come True: A Cloud That Rains Real Tequila

March 29, 2017


These are a couple shots and videos of the Tequila Cloud installed in Berlin, Germany by the Mexican Tourism Board to encourage tired-of-the-rainy-winter Germans to vacation in the land of sun and tequila. The cloud sculpture uses ultrasonic humidifiers to vibrate tequila at a frequency that turns it into a mist, which then cascades out of the cloud and into the mouth or shot glass of anybody waiting below. Trying to get drunk in a hurry and don't have time to stand around collecting tequila mist? No worries, they also installed a tap that pours straight tequila. Now you're talking! And by talking i mean slurring horribly. Jesus, just how much of that tequila did you drink?

Keep going for the video.

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Facial Reconstruction Of A Man Who Lived 700 Years Ago

March 29, 2017


This is the facial reconstruction of 'Context 958', a 13th century man with a 25th century name. Now I know what you're thinking, and I 100% agree: I expected a man who lived 700 years ago to be way hairier and walk on all fours. "You're an idiot." Admittedly, I was never good at history. Or math or english or science. I dropped out of home-school when I was eight and never looked back. *puts on the cool guy shades I bought at the gas station because I can't afford Ray-Bans*

Based on an exhaustive analysis of his remains and the burial site, here's what we know about Context 958.

He was just slightly over 40 years old when he died. His skeleton showed signs of considerable wear-and-tear, so he likely lead a tough and hard working life. His tooth enamel stopped growing during two occasions in his youth, suggesting he likely lived through bouts of famine or sickness when he was young. The archaeologists found traces of blunt force trauma inflicted to the back of his head, which healed over before he died. The researchers aren't sure what he did for a living, but they think he was a working-class person who specialized in some kind of trade.

Perhaps even more interesting is how Context 958 looks almost identical to my neighbor who lives two houses down whose entire front yard is filled with dandelions and all the other neighbors hate him because the seeds blow into their yards, then they've got dandelions too, and they don't want dandelions, they want grass in their yard. Me? I want a water park or a bikini bar!

Thanks to Douglass, who's just happy to hear Context 958 managed to survive the attempted murder.

No Littering: A Trashcan That Turns Trash Into A Tetris Video Game

March 29, 2017


This is the Tetrabin, a new trashcan that makes throwing things away even more fun that shooting them like a basketball. When a piece of trash is inserted, infrared sensors detect the size and shape of the rubbish, and turn it into an similarly shaped falling Tetris block on the the can's 900 LED exterior. stuffing bags of garbage into can* Wow, this really is fun. "Why does that Tetris block look like a bloody arm?" Weird, right? "And, wait -- is that a leg?" I'm outta here.

Keep going for a video.

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Oh, Pennywise: It Remake Gets Its First Trailer

March 29, 2017


This is the first trailer for the remake of Stephen King's It. I thought it actually looked pretty promising (I liked the scary bit at the end!), but I'm no movie expert, and, if we're being completely honest like I'm supposed to be with my therapist but never am because I know she's secretly judging me, I've never actually seen a movie. They're all too long. Plus I don't like sitting in the dark with a bunch of strangers unless I'm participating in a séance to communicate with somebody's dead aunt so we can find out where she buried all the money. "How's that working out for you?" It was a jar of pennies and now her spirit won't leave my house.

Keep going for the trailer.

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The Game Of Kings: Legend Of Zelda Collector's Chess Set

March 29, 2017


You know what's funner than playing video games? PLAYING BOARD GAMES. Just kidding, I usually only play board games when the power goes out, and I'd still suggest we play spin the bottle first. This is The Legend Of Zelda Collector's Chess Set available from ThinkGeek (among other places, I'm not your personal shopper go get me a smoothie).

Drop your controller and bust out your best gambit with 32 custom sculpted game pieces featuring the characters from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. On the white team: Link (King), Zelda (Queen), Impa (Bishops), Epona (Knights), Darunia (Rooks), Navi (Pawns). And on the black side: Ganon (King), Twinrova (Queen), Iron Knuckle (Bishops), Phantom (Knights), Armos (Rooks), Deku Scrub (Pawns). Not only can you defeat Ganon with a checkmate, but finally Zelda is one of the most powerful characters in the game! About dang time.

I remember playing chess with my brother when we were growing up and whenever he wasn't paying attention I'd repopulate the board with pieces from my dead pile. I'd still lose, but only because he's way smarter than me and I'd just chase his rooks around the board with my knights trying to bone them, which is exactly how chess should be played.

Keep going for a shot of all the chess pieces.

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Blade - The Solo Cut (The Movie Blade With Every Single Scene With Anybody Else Cut Out)

March 29, 2017


This is Blade - The Solo Cut, the movie Blade with every scene containing anybody besides Blade removed. It also contains no scenes where Blade is the only actor visible, but someone else is talking. It was a surprisingly enjoyable experience, especially considering it cut a solid two hour movie down to just eleven minutes. Could you imagine if all movies were only eleven minutes? "People would be outraged over ticket prices." Exactly, plus popcorn and soda sizes would have to be significantly smaller.

Keep going for the movie.

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Watch Straps Made With The Fur Of Your Dog Or Cat

March 29, 2017


These are several shots of the assumedly make-believe Companion Collection from the Analog Watch Co. Allegedly, for $200 and a 2 - 4 ounce bag of your pet's fur, they'll make a watch with a bezel and band covered in felted fur, so you can carry a piece of your pet around with you all day and drive coworkers with pet allergies crazy. While there's no reason why this couldn't be a real product (they had to at least make a few for the pictures), I'm pretty sure it's an April Fool's joke. And you know how I feel about April Fool's jokes. "You hate them." And you know what's even worse than an April Fool's joke? An EARLY April Fool's joke. They should be punishable by death. What the hell is wrong with people, let's boycott this company. "You really wanted that pet watch, huh?" I've been dreaming about one for years.

Keep going for a couple more shots and a video.

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125,000 Piece Motorized LEGO Game Of Thrones Red Keep Spins Like In The Opening Credits

March 29, 2017

This is the 125,000 piece LEGO Game Of Thrones Red Keep built by LEGOmaniac Claus-Marc Hahn. It uses motors powered by four LEGO Mindstorms EV3 controllers to spin and raise/lower the towers, just like in the opening credits of the show. How about that! Just a hundred more lifetimes and Claus-Marc could recreate the entire opening. Obviously, I'd suggest making a deal with a witch for your soul.

Keep going for a video tour of the keep, including its inner workings.

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