Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Mario Bros. Themes Performed On 48 Wine Glasses

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This is a video of Youtuber Dan Newbie performing Super Mario Bros. themes using 48 wine glasses, two pencils and a frying pan. It sounded very pretty. Kinda reminded me of visiting the Caribbean. Granted I've never been, but in my mind that is what it would sound like. And I would be on the beach drinking a tropical drink out of a coconut. Would a lovely lady be rubbing suntan lotion on my back? "Probably not." Right you are! *whistling* Oh cabana boy!

Hit the jump for the video.

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Final 'X-Men: Days of Future Past' Trailer: It's Mutantkind's 'Kate & Leopold'

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It's X-Men: Days of Future Past's final trailer, and its last chance to distinguish itself in any way from the 2001 fantasy romantic-comedy Kate & Leopold. We have already seen Hugh Jackman time travel in that, X-Men. What else could you possibly have to offer? Turns out, super-powered mutants, giant robots, and Peter Dinklage instead of a blossoming love with career-minded New Yorker Meg Ryan:

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Death Wish: Helmet Cam Of Extreme Downhill Bike Run

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You can call me a sissy all you want, but I got sweaty palms watching this. Just keep in mind that if you do decide to call me a sissy I will punch you in the face. Because, while I'm genuinely terrified of falling 120-feet to my death on a bicycle, I am not afraid of some good old fashioned combat. You know how many fights I've been in? All of them. And I've always been on the winning side. You know what my secret to success is? "Living in fantasy land?" No -- never picking sides until the fight is ending, then rushing out on the battlefield apologizing you just had to take a monster shit. Works like a charm.

Keep going for the video.

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Please Tell Me There Will Be Many Rupees In My Future: Zelda Inspired Tarot Cards

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This is a set of $20 Zelda tarot cards made and sold by Etsy shop PixelPerks. All the designs were hand-drawn/waterpainted and then printed on cardstock. The set contains 22-cards (a Major Arcana deck -- links to Wikipedia) plus 5 instruction cards and 3 blank frames to draw your own. You know, I've never had a tarot card reading done but when I was in college a buddy and I went to see a fortune teller. He went first and the lady (who did have a crystal ball and a pretty sweet scarf tied around her head) was all, "You're having girlfriend problems," and then he's like, "No shit, I'm gay," and then I was all, "F*** this, don't pay her and let's go to the bar."

Keep going for a couple closeups and the rest of the cards.

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CHOO CHOO!: Train Conductor Kicks Idiot Trying To Take Selfie Right By The Train Tracks In His Stupid Head

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This is a video of some jackass trying to take a video of himself right in front of a train as it passes. Thankfully, the conductor, who clearly identified this little nobgoblin from a mile away, boots him in the face. Some people are speculating it's fake, which I don't think it is, but regardless -- you can definitely still masturbate to to it. Just ask my roommate. *knocking on bedroom door* "JUST A MIIIIIINUTE." Dammit Derrek, you're going to go blind! At least drink some Gatorade and stay hydrated, your climax is gonna look like a dust bunny.

Keep going for the video.

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Fast Forward To The Apocalypse: Scientists Inject Cockroaches With DNA Nanobots

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Because why not accidentally create undying killer mutants, scientits (from now on that's what we're calling scientists doing things we don't approve of) recently injected cockroaches with DNA nanobots capable of unraveling themselves and delivering drugs. Wait -- drug delivery?! How much for a half ounce of hash? Ooh -- and if I order a pizza for pick-up can you grab it on your way?

The [nanobot] programs were simple logical operations that directed the DNA to unfold and release a molecule, for example, when it encountered a specific protein.


"This is the first time that biological therapy has been able to match how a computer processor works," Ido Bachelet from Bar Ilan University's Institute of Nanotechnology and Advanced Materials told New Scientist. Next, they said they plan to scale up the computing power that can be put inside a single cockroach -- enough to equal a Commodore 64.

Cockroaches have the advantage of not rejecting the tiny machines as foreign invaders like mammals do, although the team told New Scientist they are confident about making the bots stable enough to start human trials within five years.

First of all, I don't think cockroaches scurrying around with nanobots containing the processing power of Commodore 64's is a good idea. I mean, a Commodore 64 can run Spy Hunter AND Ghosts & Goblins. That is serious power. You throw a Sega Genesis in one of those f***ers and it's game over. We might as well pack up our bags and move to Mars, because Earth is the roach's now. You know what, screw it, I'm blasting off for Mars anyway. Who's coming with me?! "Let me see your spaceship first." It's right over there -- in the corner. "That's a cardboard box with 'USS SPACEPEEN' written on the side." Pretty sweet, right? Blastoff will be immediately after dinner (my mom's making spaghetti, otherwise we could leave right now).

Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he's probably already developing a scheme to use injectable nanobots to take over the world.

Vampires Rejoice: Lab-Made Blood Undergoing First Human Tests, Could Be Transfusion-Ready By 2035

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Doctors at the University of Edinburgh have just received the go-ahead to use lab-grown blood in transfusions for three patients with blood disorders starting in 2016. If successful, artificial lab-made blood could be replacing donor blood in transfusions as soon as 2035. *counting on fingers* But that's still ten years away! "Try nineteen." I don't have nineteen fingers. When reached for comment about the lab-grown blood, one man licking his lips had this to say, "Not bad. " Dammit, Dracula!

The process involves using adult skin or blood cells that have been genetically modified into stem cells, known as induced pluripotent stem (iPS) cells.


These iPS cells are then cultured in biologic conditions that mimic the human body, eventually leading to their transition into mature red blood cells.

The trick so far has been increasing the efficiency of this transition process, as not all the cells are capable of becoming red blood cells.

The team at the University of Edinburgh has got this efficiency to approaching 50% in a process that takes about a month.

The red blood cells are then separated from the rest of the cells in a centrifuge.

I tried donating blood once and passed out. I never should have looked at the bag. You know what the last thing I remember saying was? 'That looks too full.' I thought they were trying to bleed me dry. When reached for another comment about the new lab-grown blood, The Count from Sesame Street counted to ten then ran off screen chasing bats.

Thanks to Thaylor H, who not only donates blood, but also keeps a jar full of scabs for emergencies. Cool!

Little Boy Gets Star Wars Themed Funeral As Final Wish

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You know what's behind the helmet? Tears.

In heartbreaking news, these are photos of 4-year old Jack Robinson's Star Wars themed funeral. Because life isn't fair in the least, Jack, of Hampshire, England, was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and developed a bucket list of things he'd like to do before passing. Having his parents organize a Star Wars themed funeral was the last. Here, I'm just going to copy/paste while I excuse myself for a second.

His carriage was covered floral tributes, including one reading 'Jedi' and wreaths in the shape of a lightsaber, Yoda and R2-D2.


Inside the church a brass band played the film's The Binary Sunset music - known as Luke Skywalker's theme - and the order of service read: 'Master Jack Robinson, joined the force 1st April 2014'.

Jack always had that cheeky grin on his face. Even when we were in hospital and I was sleeping next to him, he would poke me in the back with a lightsaber, then very quickly hid it and grin at me.

In just four-and-a-half years, Jack achieved what many people spend a lifetime doing. He was only a little boy but he brought people together, from all over the world.

Jack also got to ride in a firetruck as an early birthday present, meet singer Gary Barlow, and had a personal video message sent to him by the 11th Doctor, Matt Smith (who also sang him the show's theme song). Rest in peace, Jack.

Keep going for a couple more shots, but you will cry if you're not already.

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