Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

I Want It: Pottery Barn's $4,000 Millennium Falcon Bed

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This is the $4,000 Millennium Falcon cockpit bed available from Pottery Barn. I like Pottery Barn. I like walking around there with my mom, we have a great time. The bed, which is made from quality hardwood (not particleboard), is handpainted and finished, but sadly only available in twin-size (and $4,000). That is a little small for me. I would definitely kick those front cockpit windows out in my sleep and get sucked out into space and die. Would I die happy? No. Would I die with a space-boner? Probably. Man, I love playing space so much. Wild west cowboys too. You should come over this weekend and play with me. I'll let you be my huckleberry!

Hit the jump for more pictures, including two kids HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR LITTLE LIVES.

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US Parents Naming Their Kids After Guns Is On The Rise

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Because a lot of the people having kids are the ones who shouldn't be redneck yokels, there has been a significant increase in the number of children born in the US being named after guns. Obviously, I am going to name my firstborn Laser Blaster Pew Pew, especially if it's a girl.

Most popular of all is Gunner, which was given to more than 1,500 babies in the US last year.


Lance is an old-school choice, but has been increasingly joined by Mace, Blade, Saw and Dagger...

Also on the rise in the US - a nation which has seen significant gun violence this year - for baby boys are Trigger, Shooter, Caliber, Magnum and Pistol. There has also been a rise in the use of gun manufacturers such as Barrett, Remington, Kimber, Ruger, Wesson, Browning, Benelli and Beretta.

Meanwhile, five little boys were named Danger last year. Even blunter were the 11 named Arson and nine called Chaos.

Arson? Chaos? Blade? Saw? Dagger? That is kind of mindblowing. I want to meet the parents that are naming their kids these things. And then-- "Sterilize them?" What? No. I was gonna say ask them to give me a cool nickname.

Thanks to MMMmartin, whose name I said in my mind like I just ate a delicious bite of something.

What The?: Trippy Floating Playing Cards Optical Illusions

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This is a video of very unhappy looking Zach Mueller performing a bunch of optical illusions with playing cards. Why does he look so unhappy? You're supposed to enjoy your hobbies, not hate them. Maybe he should try knitting. "What are your hobbies, GW?" Video games and alienating all my friends and family.

Hit the jump and PREPARE TO BE BLOWN AWAY.

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Oh Wow: Amazing Starcraft Zerg Hydralisk Cosplay

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This is the Zerg Hydralisk costume made and worn by cosplayer Dadboy (who clearly started having children entirely too young). That is some impressive work. "I have never wanted to have sex with a costume so bad in my life." Ahahahahhaha, WHAT?! Seriously I was thinking the exact same thing.

Hit the jump for a video of the Hydralisk cruising around the Otakuthon convention in Montréal, Canada. You can see Dadboy's full coverage of the costume build HERE.

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Time (To Roll Up A Newspaper): Giant Spider Timepiece

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This is the Arachnophobia timepiece created by luxury watchmaker MB&F. It looks like a giant mechanical spider. I am going to get one for my desk here at work. Just kidding, they cost $16,000 - $18,000, which means the closest one will ever come to my desk are the pictures I just edited of them on my computer. So in a way I kind of DO have one on my desk. I also have a bunch of luxury cars and supermodels. "You live a sad life, GW." I live the SADDEST life. If crying yourself to sleep were an Olympic sport they wouldn't even let me compete I'm so f***ing good at it.

Keep going for a couple more shots, including one mounted on the wall for extra realism.

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App-Controlled Star Wars BB-8 Droid Toy Now Available

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No, BB-8, you can't have sex with all the oranges.

A miniature home version of the BB-8 droid from the upcoming Star Wars movie is now available (well, tonight at midnight) from Sphero for $150. It can be controlled via a smartphone/tablet app, or set to autonomously patrol your house on its own. Oh man, the cat is going to love this.

"Meet BB-8 -- the app-enabled Droid that's as authentic as it is advanced," the official statement says. "BB-8 has something unlike any other robot -- an adaptive personality that changes as you play. Based on your interactions, BB-8 will show a range of expressions and even perk up when you give voice commands. Set it to patrol and watch your Droid explore autonomously, make up your own adventure and guide BB-8 yourself, or create and view holographic recordings."

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Almost never." Oh come on, you and me -- we're like two peas in a pod. "I want out of this pod." Don't say that, you're hurting my feelings. You really don't want to share a pod with me? "Absolutely not." Okay what if we were just cubicle-mates? "No." I'll let you play with my BB-8 toy! "Fine." Awesome, now let's kiss and make it official.

Keep going for a couple more shots, the official commercial, and a longer video about how the toy came to be.

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Don't Show Your Kids: Crying Blood Minion Body Wash

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This is a bottle of Minion strawberry-banana scented 3-in-1 body wash/shampoo/conditioner. It looks like he's crying blood. I don't like those 3-in-1 body wash combos because I feel like the more things something does, the less well it does each of them. That said, if somebody made a 4-in-1 body wash/shampoo/conditioner/toothpaste I would be all over that shit like syrup on pancakes. *lightbulb goes off in head* MAKE IT A SYRUP TOO.

Thanks to Bornas, who uses a body wash made with unicorn tears and has the softest skin on the planet.

Animal Head And Skull Candle Holders That Cry Wax

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These are The Jacks, ceramic candle holders that look like they cry wax as the candles burn. They are currently a Kickstarter campaign but have already met their funding goal. They come in deer head, rabbit head and human skull varieties and cost $28 and up. Refill candles will retail for $12 for the deer or rabbit (with a burn time of 5-10 hours), and $17 for the skull (~30 hours). That could get expensive, so you're better off just never lighting them. That's what I would do. Plus, you know, I'm not allowed to play with matches. I'm not even allowed to be serious with matches. One time I got grounded because my mom mistook my toothpick for a match.

Keep going for a bunch more shots.

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