To celebrate their 130th anniversary this year, this is a video released by National Geographic of every single one of its covers since the magazine's inception in 1888. I thought it was interesting they didn't start regularly using graphics and photos on the cover until the 1960s. Prior to that there it was just text and the occasional American flag. I still remember a lot of those 90's covers. I used to get National Geographic when I was a kid because when I grew up I was going to be an INTREPID WORLD EXPLORER. "How did that work out for you?" The Indiana Jones lifestyle is a lie sold to us by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.
This is a vertical video from Longview, Texas of a tractor trailer attempting to climb an icy hill, failing, then sliding backwards into a stoplight, which safely lands on some power lines. I love how this lady and her friends are just hanging out by the road documenting which cars and trucks are able to make it up the hill. They sound like a good time. What do think they do in the summer for fun? "Probably sit on a porch." Man, some of my fondest memories have been made sitting on a porch. "Which memories?" Future ones with these people.
Seen here at the exact moment he spotted a t-rex while his copilot points at a f***ing tree, a young boy prepares to steer his new Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep out of dino-danger. The $400 vehicle has a top speed of 5MPH (paleontologists estimate a t-rex could run around 12MPH), a functional light bar, images of a t-rex chasing you in all the mirrors, and makes dinosaur sound effects. Obviously, it's the perfect ride for a blogger who plans on shrinking himself down to a third of his current size. "You're talking about yourself?" Do you know any other bloggers dumb enough to step in front of an experimental shrink-ray just so they can drive a Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep? "You truly are a gift from God." Thanks! "But like, a white elephant gift." Dammit! You were so close to loving me, I could almost feel the warmth of your touch. Can't you just be nice to me for once? "You're the one that puts the words in my mouth." I know, but you're inherently evil, I can't change that about you on my own.
Keep going for shots of the vehicle from all around.
This is a video from the 2018 Consumer Electronics Show of LG demonstrating their 65-inch rollable OLED television. The 16:9 screen can be remotely rolled down into its little box to display different aspect ratios like 21:9 (to avoid having black bars at the top and bottom of your screen when watching movies) and even down to just a tiny strip for displaying the weather, streaming audio information, etc. It can also be full retracted into its box when not in use. They say the television is probably still a few years out from going into production, which is fine with me because I don't really need that anyways. Sure it's the perfect TV for letting your friends know your stuff is cooler and more expensive than theirs, but that's about it. I'm fine if my TV has to display black bars to watch a movie in the proper aspect ratio. That's like, the least of my concerns. It's not even a concern. Now this rash on the inside of my leg -- that's a concern. You think it's getting bigger? "This is the first time I've seen it." Well it used to be half that size. "Then I'd say it's getting bigger." So should we try burning with fire or acid first? "Both at the same time?" Shock and awe style -- I like the way you think.
Keep going for the video. Also, call me when it can roll out of the towel bar in the bathroom so I can watch TV on the can.
This is a three minute video of an aircraft carrier cruising around at high speed and making some impressively sharp turns while demonstrating its evasive action maneuvers. Who knew aircraft carriers were so agile? I didn't, whenever I'd recreate sea battles during bath time I'd always have the aircraft carriers just sit there. Obviously, we're going to have to rectify that pronto. "I'm not taking a bath with you." Well will you at least sit on the toilet and watch me? "Absolutely not." Come on -- I'll give us both Abraham Lincoln bubble bath beards! "Tempting." Really?! "No." You make my heart hurt.
Trying to find the toilet in the dark: it's hard and sometimes you accidentally find your hamper instead. Enter the $23 for two Illumibowl Everyday Emoji Projector. The motion-activated projector illuminates your toilet bowl with a rose, clown fish, bow and arrow target or poop emoji so you don't have to turn the light on to pee at night. Plus it's going to be super hilarious when I prank my roommate by clipping it to his laptop instead.
Burn away your bad and damaged hair with Kaizo's special Fire Haircut treatment.
Cool, but can't you just cut the bad and damaged hair instead? What's so great about burning it besides the amazing smell? Wait a minute -- you forgot to order scissors again, didn't you? Haha, I knew it! Let me drink that blue stuff.