Oh Wow: Guy Demonstrates His Slinky Tricks

March 27, 2017

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This is a video of Slinky fan 黃正懷 demonstrating his impressive mastery of the toy. Who knew Slinkys could do more than just climb down the stairs half the time you tried to get them to? Not me! Now I feel stupid. "You are stupid." Thank God I'm good looking though, right? *ahem* Right?! "No comment." Mom! You used to tell me I was a catch. "No, that's what we used to tell your brother." My whole life is a lie.

Keep going for the video, he really is good.

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Tiny, Pocket-Sized Stretch Armstrong Dolls For Sale

March 27, 2017

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This is the $8 World's Smallest Stretch Armstrong doll available from Vat19. It's like a regular Stretch Armstrong toy from the 70's, except only 4-inches tall. His arms and legs can stretch to over twice his body length, although I don't think he has that magical Stretch Armstrong goo inside, I think he's entirely latex. That's a shame too, because he looks like he'd make a great bite-size snack. "Jesus, what don't you eat, GW?" So far, only turds.

Keep going for one more shot and a video.

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I Am Into This: Makeup Artist Covers Herself In Googly Eyes

March 27, 2017

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This is a video of makeup artist and bodypainter Alexys Fleming covering her face and décolletage (I'm fancy and I know stuff) with googly eyes. As far as makeup tutorials go, I feel like I could actually do this one, because it looks like it requires about zero skill, which just so happens to be my skill level. My parents don't even let me build LEGO sets that have more than two blocks because they know I'm just going to end up sad and disappointed and, if they're not kidding themselves, with a belly full of plastic bricks.

Keep going for the video of my eyes are up here.

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That Was Glorious: The First Front Flip Landed In A Monster Truck

March 27, 2017

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This is a video of driver Lee O'Donnell landing a front flip in the Mad Scientist monster truck during the recent Monster Jam World Finals Freestyle Championship in Las Vegas. The flip helped secure Lee a first place victory in the competition. Man, I wish I went to more monster truck rallies. I've only ever been to one, and I got so drunk I picked a fight with the guy sitting in front of me. "You were six." I know, growing up in Alabama you were allowed to drink when you were four as long as you were at a monster truck rally or WWF wrestling match.

Keep going for a short video of the flip, as well as a video of the whole performance that has a better view of the flip at 2:12. Also, I like the half backflip at the very end.

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My God Did That Smell Good: How To Make Jake's Perfect Sandwich From Adventure Time

March 27, 2017

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In less terrifying Adventure Time news, this is a video of chef Andrew Rea constructing Jake's twelve component perfect sandwich from Adventure Time. It looks amazing. Perhaps even more amazing considering I already know my lunch today is going to be half a stale bagel with no cream cheese and whatever I can get out of the vending machine for 65 cents and a running jumpkick.

Keep going for the video, as well as the sandwich scene from the cartoon for reference and G.I. Joe's Pork Chop Sandwiches (NSFW) because I have to watch it at least six times a day or I'll turn into a steaming horse turd (an old witch's curse for picking flowers from her garden).

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Drinking Buddies: T-Rex Wine Bottle Holders

March 27, 2017

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These are t-rex wine bottle holders. They come in two varieties: alive ($24), and dead ($32). Personally I like the live one, but I've gotten drunk with a dead friend before and it was traumatizing. Mostly because I didn't realize he was dead until I was saying goodbye, I just assumed I was a very captivating storyteller, which I am.

Keep going for a couple more shots of each while I email the manufacturers about whether these are sex toy safe.

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Amazingly Lifelike Adventure Time Ice King And Lemongrab Busts

March 27, 2017

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These are the Ice King and Lemongrab busts created by Adam Edwards. In his own words while I try to figure out if the Ice King's eyes are really following me around the room or if I'm just paranoid because I watched a scary movie this weekend (Beauty And The Beast):

Wanted to do another Adventure Time character after my Lemongrab and thought Ice King would be a fun one! This guy was so much more complicated than Lemongrab!


Sculpted, moulded, cast in silicone and then painted and hairpunched. I designed the crown digitally in Zbrush and got it printed by the awesome Robb Crafer, he was so generous with his time with me, a complete noob, 3D printing something for the first time. Eyes made by me from Sebastian Lochmann's insane eye mould system.

I swear, some people are so talented. I wish I had some sort of artistic talent, but I'm afraid I reached my peak in kindergarten when I traced the outline of my hand and colored it to look like a turkey for Thanksgiving. "That's an awfully shitty looking turkey, I always thought it was an octopus." Mom!

Keep going for a couple more shots including Lemongrab.

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Soap Opera: Dish Scrubber Holder That Looks Like A Little Lady Singing In The Bathtub

March 27, 2017

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This is the $15 Soap Opera plate scrubber holder created by Peleg (not pegleg) Design. It looks like a little lady singing in the bathtub, and whatever sort of scrubber you use becomes her hair. Which, at least in my case, is the same ball of paper towels I just used to wipe up raw chicken juice. Microwaving plates sanitizes them, right?

Keep going for several different hairstyles.

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