Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Thanks, Internet: All Mortal Kombat X Fatalities & X-Rays

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This is a video from IGN featuring every fatality and x-ray from the upcoming Mortal Kombat X. They're pretty brutal. I just copied the Youtube link to my desktop and feel like I saved myself $60. Not that my mom would have ever let me buy the game anyways. I'm only allowed to play Peggle and Tetris.

Keep going for seven minutes of gore.

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Man Uses Chainsaw To Pull Himself On Frozen Lake

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This is a short video of skier Erik Sunnerheim pulling himself around on a frozen lake with the help of a chainsaw. It looks dangerous. Like hunting great white sharks and using yourself as bait. Which I have done before because I am tough as nails. Just kidding, I lost a bet to Aquaman and it was either that or getting boned by a whale.

Keep going for the video.

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Now Make It For Real: The Voltron Cat Condo

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Because April Fools' has officially become a day for companies to gauge the market for potential products, this is the $190 Voltron Cat Condo from ThinkGeek. It's an April Fools' joke that will probably become reality after enough people say they want it. Admittedly, it's pretty sweet. I don't even have any cats and I want one. Hell, I don't even have any cats and I want a whole living room full of these things. And I'm going to talk to them like they're my roommates and they like me. How was my day? Thanks for asking! It was stressful but it's just so nice to be back home with you guys.

Keep going for a closeup and a video.

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Time Wasters: You Can Play Pac-Man In Google Maps Now

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So you can play Pac-Man in Google Maps right now by scrolling to an area with a lot of streets and clicking the Pac-Man icon in the lower left corner. I just spent thirty minutes eating ghosts in my neighborhood and I wouldn't change it for the world. Now I'm going to go play Grand Theft Auto in real life. If you don't ever hear from me for the rest of the day you can assume I won. Or lost? I probably just fell asleep.

Thanks to everyone who sent this, who have collectively spent over 80 hours not working today.

Artoo In Love: A Short R2-D2 Love Story

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This is Artoo In Love, a worthwhile short about R2-D2 falling in love with a mailbox. It has everything: romance, droids, heartbreak. It does not have pornography though. If you came looking for pornography you came to the wrong place.

Keep going for the video.

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Total Crap: The $850 MacBook Air Inspired Toilet Seat

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This is the $850 MacBook Air inspired toilet seat made and sold by design firm Pinkhouse. The cover is laser-cut from 12-guage steel and can be powder-coated to your color preference. For reference, $850 is just about $830 too much to pay for a toilet seat. If all toilet seats cost $850 I wouldn't even have one, I'd just hover. Will I poop on my feet? Probably, but I'll also save myself a fortune. Did I mention the seat is square? The seat is square. Most asses are round. I do know a girl with a square ass though. That is generally not a desirable trait. That girl is me by the way, I've never been asked to a school dance.

Giant Kinetic Motion Pennyfarthing Big Wheel Bike Thing

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This is the Boneshaker Big Wheel, the brainchild of Ron Schroer. Pedaling powers a bunch of Theo Jansen kinetic motion sculpture inspired walking legs in the rear that push the bike forward. It is probably not the bike you want to be riding if you're trying to get away from the cops. It is definitely the bike you want to be riding if you're interviewing for a job with a carnival and want to set yourself apart from the rest of the weirdos.

Keep going for a video of the thing in action.

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Guy Remakes Super Mario 64 Level In High Definition

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This is a video demonstration of the Super Mario 64 level (the first level of the game -- Bomb-omb Battlefield) that Unity developer Erik Roystan Ross remade in high definition. He did a fine job, the only problem is that the level is already so bare-bones that it looks kind of ridiculous in high definition. You know what else looks ridiculous in high definition? "Your face." Exactly, that's why I always shake my head so I look blurry in photos and people can't call me ugly.

Keep going for the video, and you can play the level in your browser HERE if you want to.

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