This is a point-of-view ride through Shanghai Disneyland's TRON Lightcycle Power Run roller coaster. It looks like a seizure. It also includes some of the things you see waiting in the queue line for the ride so you get the TOTAL EXPERIENCE. It's just like you're there. Except you're not. You're nowhere near there. You're at a computer desk. Or, if you're really lucky, on a laptop or tablet or phone on the couch or in bed or sitting on the can at home. If you're really unlucky you're locked away in a dungeon, peering between the bars and watching this on the guard's computer monitor. Don't worry, I'm coming for you. I mean, as soon as somebody offers a reward for your safe return. Somebody is going to offer a reward, right? How long has it been, anyways? "Two years." Jesus. Well at least ask the guard to turn up the text size in his browser so you can read Geekologie.
Keep going for the video while I pretend I'm on Space Mountain (I love Space Mountain).
This is a campaign ad for current (and future hopeful) Travis County, Texas precinct 3 commissioner Gerald Daugherty. It stars his wife explaining why Gerald is perfect for the job. And I believe her. And I believe in him. Will I be writing him in for president on November 8th? No way, I always vote for myself. It's just nice to know that every four years the person most qualified for the presidency, and not just the okay-est out of the handful of official nominees, gets a vote. I feel l like I owe that to myself. And isn't that what democracy is all about? "Owing it to yourself?" What? No. Choice. It's about the freedom of choice. Just kidding I have no clue what it's about, it could be about how many dicks you can fit in a brown paper grocery bag for all I know.
This is a video demonstration of the Podride, a little bicycle pedal powered car invented by Mikael Kjellman. It's got four wheels, a weatherproof exterior, and a pedal-powered electric motor for when you want to take a break from pedaling and just do donuts in a neighbor's yard. Honestly, it's pretty amazing. Plus I like Mikael's voice when he's describing it all. Very soothing. Not David Attenborough soothing, but what is? "A mother's voice." Wow, I was raised by harpies, but thanks for bringing it up.
This is the Street Fighter Chun-Li Hoodie designed and available from ThinkGeek ($50). It has ribbon accents on the hood, and gold spirals around the breasts so you never forget where your boobs are. It's perfect for doing lightning kicks (Hyakuretsu Kyaku) and Inverted Helicopter Kicks (Spinning Bird Kicks), just make sure to wear underwear because underwear is a mandatory Street Fighting uniform requirement and you can be disqualified for trying to fight naked. Trust me. Sorry about that eye, Sagat.
This is a picture of some lady's legs. They look like they're super shiny right? They almost look plastic. That's until SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: Somebody tells you it's just paint. Then they're just legs with white paint accents to make them appear shiny. Oh, and once you know it's paint you can't make them look shiny again. That bird has flown. Personally, when I first looked at the picture I didn't see shiny legs OR painted legs, just somebody with absolutely zero calves. Can you only walk backwards?
Thanks to Sarah and Luc, who have always dreamed of having Barbie legs. Really? My sister has a ton of them, I only take the heads.
This is a time-lapse video of artist Matt Anderson (aka Ginozko) using black and white charcoal pencils to turn the portrait of Abraham Lincoln on the front of a $5 bill into Bill Murray, making it a real five dollar Bill. The final result is most impressive, and I'd be willing to pay upwards of $4 for it so even if art prices plummet I can still turn a profit. Still, no word if drawing a celebrity comedian's face on a bill is enough to have them elected our next president, but in this case I think we can all hope.
This is the $32 Emojibater. It looks like the eggplant emoji but it's not an eggplant, it's a vibrator. Why does everybody use the eggplant to mean penis anyways? *shrug* I use the circus tent, but that's just me and you're always guaranteed a good time when I come to town. Plus cotton candy and peanuts. The Emojibator has 10 different vibration settings, is waterproof for "bath and shower play" and, if you can't tell by the way I'm about to rattle right out of my office chair, also works great in butts.
Thanks to Allyson S, who knows what I like and I like talking sex toys. I mean, not TALKING sex toys, but like, talking ABOUT sex toys. It's one of my jams.
Brick Tales is a buildable LEGO pop-up book with various scenes you can build inside to bring the story alive. Everything pops up and folds down nice and neat when the book is opened and closed, and there's even a latch to keep the book securely locked when not in use. Brick Tales (I would have named it Storybricks) is the brainchild of Grant Davis and Jason Allemann and is currently a LEGO Ideas idea that needs more supporters to reach official LEGO review. If you're interested in seeing the set become reality you can contribute your support HERE. Me? I love pop-up books. They were probably my favorite kind of books growing up besides nudie magazines. You know why? "Less words." Exactly. I always told my teachers a 3-D picture is worth at least 2,000 words and I just looked at ten of them so if you don't mind I'd like to take nap time early today and I'd like my chocolate milk carton waiting by my cot when I awake.
Keep going for several more shots of the possibilities, and a video demonstration.