Come Here, Warren: Baby Rhino Comes When His Name Is Called

July 26, 2016

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This is a video of orphaned baby rhino Warren at the Care For Wild Africa Rhino Sanctuary, who comes when his named is called. I was skeptical at first but after several viewings I do believe he knows his name and pays attention when its called. Of course there will come a time when you don't want Warren charging at you when his name is called. And on that day I'll be riding on his back waving the Spear Of Eternal Damnation and we'll be the last thing you ever see in this world or the next because eternal really means eternal.

Keep going for the precious sweet video.

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You're A Wizard, Harry: Important Wands Of The Harry Potter Universe, An Infographic

July 26, 2016

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This is a giant infographic featuring a bunch of the most important wands from the Harry Potter universe. I learned very little by looking at it. Still, magic wands are cool so here's a whole bunch of them in one graphic. Now I know the wand chooses the wizard, but let's just say HYPOTHETICALLY that you got to choose your own wand -- what length and wood and core would you choose? I'd have a 12-inch morning wood wand with a dragon boner-bone core that drives all the witches wild. "You're talking about your penis, aren't you?" You know what? I take that back, I'd want a staff like Gandalf's.

Thanks to Wyatt, who made the infographic or had something to do with it and will probably think twice before sending another in the future.

Japan Urges Pokemon Go Players To Stay Away From Fukushima Disaster Zone

July 26, 2016

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There was a Mewtwo right between those tanks.

Despite the fact its probably an ideal spot to catch ultra-rare evolved Pokemon, the Japanese government is encouraging Pokemon Go players to steer clear of the Fukushima Disaster Zone. You'd think that would be common sense, but if there's one thing Pokemon Go players have taught us, it's that there is no common sense when you're chasing Pokemon.

Tokyo Electric Power Company Holdings (Tepco) has requested that Pokémon Go developer Niantic and the Pokémon Company prevent Pokémon appearing in and around areas affected by the nuclear reactor meltdown in Fukushima to help prevent encouraging players to enter dangerous areas.


Tepco said it has tested the Fukushima Daiichi plant, which was partially destroyed by the March 2011 disaster, the nearby Fukushima Daini plant and the Kashiwazaki-Kariwa plant in Niigata Prefecture and found Pokémon on-site.

Admittedly, that is a pretty serious oversight of the game's creators -- you can't have Pokemon spawning in radioactive locations. Now I'm not saying Niantic and the Pokemon Company should be held responsible and sued for this blunder, but I definitely didn't have this tail a month ago.

Thanks to Jarod, who agrees they need to make a World Of Warcraft Go already.

So, We've Come To This: A Kickstarter For Magnetically Levitating Cocktail Glasses

July 26, 2016

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This is the Kickstarter for Levitating CUP: Gravity Defying Drinkware. The system consists of an electromagnetic base (available either wired or wireless) that can keep a glass with a magnet in the bottom "quantum locked" and levitating. The cost of a single style glass of your choice and a base is around $180, with the wired version being slightly cheaper. I feel like having a whole bunch of these would be perfect for a bar that never wants me to come drink there. If I see a waiter approaching with a levitating glass I'm out of there because sorcery doesn't belong in bars and there's no telling what they're putting in your drink if witches and wizards are brewing them. Excuse me, bartender -- why is this drink bubbling like a cauldron? Are those lizard dicks I see at the bottom? Is this a potion of extreme generosity so I'll tip more? Just be honest and there's no need for my enchanted blade to get involved.

Keep going for a bunch more shots and their Kickstarter video.

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Hardcore Softcore: Playing Metal With A Harp

July 26, 2016

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This is a video of musician Rob Scallon (previously: playing a part of every Metallica song in order in four minutes and playing a one-string electric guitar made from a shovel) playing a metal medley on a 22-string harp. It's not ALL harp though, there's some background instruments too because harps aren't very metal all by themselves. I'm just saying, any instrument you see religious frescos of angels playing probably aren't going to be trying to punch you in the dick in a mosh pit.

Keep going for the video, but skip to 0:50 unless you're into music videos that start with a minute of dubious acting and no music.

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Tiny UV Camera Shows Where You've Applied Sunblock, Where You're Gonna Burn

July 26, 2016

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Sunscreenr is a tiny waterproof UV camera (currently an already funded Indiegogo project, $93 plus shipping gets you one around December just in time for the dead of winter unless you live in the southern hemisphere) that records 30 seconds of video to show where you've applied sunscreen, and what spots you missed. Sunscreen coverage will appear dark, uncovered skin will appear light (this girl is not doing a very good job). Simple as that -- you'll never burn again! At least not until Santa brings me the flamethrower I've been asking for every year. So far the closest he's come is stuffing a Jesus candle in my stocking. The year I asked for a tank? Snow shoes. You've got some serious making up to do, fat man.

Keep going for a couple more shots (including a redhead who's about to fry) and a video.

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Nailed It: Guy Removes Crappy Graffiti Tags, Replaces With Clearly Legible Versions

July 26, 2016

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These are a bunch of before and after shots of French artist Mathieu Tremblin replacing graffiti tags with much more legible, stenciled versions. Which do you prefer -- the before or the after? Honestly I think he should have replaced the tags with tasteful nudes but that's just me and I prefer the CLASSICS. Everything in my apartment was actually made during the Renaissance. "Including the TV?" A da Vinci prototype. "And the vibrator I saw by your straw mattress?" Okay, first of all I said you could use the restroom, not poke around in my bedroom ,and secondly, yes, I did modify the penis I chipped off a Michelangelo sculpture for my girlfriend.

Keep going for a bunch more.

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Too Close For Comfort: Lightning Strike Splinters Telephone Pole To Toothpicks

July 26, 2016

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This is a video of a lightning strike decimating a telephone pole during the recent storms in Chicago. One second, telephone pole, the next second, toothpicks. It made me wish I'd been there to collect all the wood and sell an exclusive limited edition of 'Lightning Carved' toothpicks. You think rich people wouldn't buy those? Rich people would buy anything that proves they have money to burn. You ever seen a rich relative light a cigar with a $100 bill before? I jumped on Uncle Chet's arm like a hero diving on a grenade.

Keep going for the video.

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