You Did It Wrong: How Not To Drive Your 4X4 Down A Steep, Muddy Slope

December 13, 2017

4x4-done-wrong.jpg

This is a video of a couple intrepid adventures demonstrating how not to drive a series 40 Toyota Land Cruiser 4x4 down a steep, muddy slope in Wales. All the guys standing out there telling him how to steer yell 'Straight!' over and over, which in Wales clearly means keep turning right. I'm a world traveler, I know stuff like this. "Really? How long has it been since you last left your apartment?" Depends, what month is it? "December." Damn, and the year?

Keep going for the video. And for the record, no, it doesn't land back on its wheels. I saw another video of them having to wench it back up.

Continue Reading →

Awww: Little Brother Races To Rescue Sister During Wrestling Match After Mistaking It For A Real Fight

December 13, 2017

This is a video of a little boy rushing to his sister's aid during a wrestling match after mistaking it for a real fight. That's cute of him. The action is right at the beginning of the video though, so feel free to stop after that unless you're into very amateur wresting (the gif above is probably good enough already). I don't have a little brother, but i do have a little sister, and I guarantee if I was in the same situation she'd use the opportunity to join forces with my opponent and hit me with a flying elbow or leg drop. One time I coughed at the dinner table and she smacked me across the back with a chair and claimed she thought I was choking and my parents still let her have dessert.

Keep going for the video.

Continue Reading →

Demonic Sounding Guitar Song Of Entirely Tritone Chords (Aka The Devil's Interval)

December 13, 2017

demonic-tritone-song.jpg

This is a video of musician Rob Scallon (previously) performing a song on guitar that consists entirely of tritone chords. What's a tritone chord? Let me copy/paste that for you while I try to climb into the ceiling above my cubicle for a nap. A drop ceiling can totally support the weight of an adult male, right? *CRASH!* Oh lordy, I can see bone.

For this song I am allowed to play only 2 note tritone chords on the guitar tracks. No single notes.


A tritone is referring to a particular musical interval (how far away two notes are from each other) and is renowned for it's dissonance and harsh feeling of tension. A tritone name refers to the 3 whole tone distance between the two notes. ..It's rumored that the tritone was banned in medieval times, that you could be jailed for using it, that people believed it could summon the devil.

Come on, if all you had to do to summon the devil was to play some tritone chords, don't you think a lot more people would have done it already? I mean, I have this perfectly good soul to sell and it's just sitting around going to waste. "Perfectly good?" I meant used/acceptable condition. "Acceptable?" Fine, it's a turd, what'll you give me for it? Let me see what your mom packed in your lunch.

Keep going for the video while I play the song backwards and see if it gets extra satanic.

Continue Reading →

So, We've Come To This: Cryptocurrency Ugly Christmas Sweaters

December 13, 2017

crytocurrency-ugly-christmas-sweaters-1.jpg

This is the line of cryptocurrency ugly Christmas sweaters available from Hodlmoon. They're currently available in Bitcoin, Ethereum, Litecoin, Monero, Neo and Polymath varieties and cost $60 apiece. Alternatively, invest that $60 in some cryptocurrency and this time next year you could be laughing all the way to the bank. Or explaining to your wife why you invested everything you own in a crytocurrency that's worthless now after she explicitly told you she didn't trust it. Well, I guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight! Wait, where's the couch? Honey? *door slams* You know, in reality that door slammed a long time ago -- it's just neither one of us was ever strong enough to be standing on the other side. "Jesus." Where's my jug of wine?

Keep going for shots of all the sweaters individually (although the last three are just renderings).

Continue Reading →

Water Your Christmas Tree, A Public Service Announcement

December 13, 2017

water-your-christmas-tree.jpg

This is a video posted by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission demonstrating why it's so important to keep your Christmas tree watered but igniting two seperate trees: one watered, one dry. They ignite the dry tree a full 30 seconds after the watered tree, and it burns up in a massive fireball immediately. The watered tree still seems relatively fine after a minute. Also, who the hell doesn't water their tree? It's literally the ONLY thing you have to do to take care of it. Please tell me you don't have any pets or children.

Keep going for this video, as well as another of the same experiment conducted by the National Institute Of Standards And Technology (NIST -- yay, Gaithersburg, MD).

Continue Reading →

Happy Otter Juggles Rocks In Excitement

December 13, 2017

This is a video from the Adelaide Zoo in South Australia of an Asian small-clawed otter happily jugging some rocks on its belly, complete with running zoogoer commentary. Personally, I thought he was trying to solve a primitive Rubik's Cube. In the videographer's own words:

In the wild, otters smash stones against the hard shells of their food to break it open. As it was nearly mealtime when I shot this it is quite possible this little fellow was showing his excitement!

Getting excited about mealtime -- now that's something I can relate to. My whole day kind of revolves around eating and working, then sleeping poorly and waking up tired to do it all over again. "That's called life." But am I really living? "Absolutely not." Cool, just checking.

Keep going for the video while I look at fast food menus online.

Continue Reading →

'That's Going To Leave A Mark' Supercut From 105 Different Movies From 1987-2017

December 13, 2017

thats-gonna-leave-a-mark.jpg

This is a supercut of characters saying 'That's going to leave a mark,' collected from 105 different movies from 1987 - 2017. Which was your favorite? I didn't really watch them all because when I started writing this article I didn't realize the video was fifteen minutes long, I assumed it was going to be like three or four. And you know what they say: time is money, and you can't pay for happy hour drinks by letting the bartender look at your watch. I should know, I try every time. It's kind of a hilarious running joke I have with the happy hour bartender now. "I've wanted to eighty-six you since day one." Okaaaaaay, looks like I'll be drinking a forty at home this evening.

Keep going for the video.

Continue Reading →

Guys Attack Rocket To LEGO Super Star Destroyer, Ram It Into A Wall At 67MPH

December 12, 2017

lego-star-destroyer-destruction-2.jpg

This is a video of a group of Swedish lads attaching a rocket to the back of a 1.2 meter (4-foot), 3.5kg (~8 pound), 3,152 piece LEGO Super Star Destroyer and crashing it into a wall at over 108km/h (~67MPH) to make it a Super Star Destroyee. That's certainly one way to disassemble a LEGO set in a hurry. Obviously, this is exactly what I've always wanted to do to every single LEGO brick I've ever stepped on, except at 200MPH and right into the belly of my just woken roommate. *lighting fuse* Hey Derek!

Keep going for the video, but the best two shots start at 4:15.

Continue Reading →