Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Who's Eating Who?: Terrifying Cthurkey Turkey Dinner


Note: I moved this post up from last year for relevance, originally posted December 2013.

This is the Cthulhu inspired Christmas dinner made by Texan Rusty Eulberg and his wife. It consists of a bacon layered turkey (although way more bacon definitely wouldn't hurt anything) with crab legs underneath and a couple octopus tentacles poking out of its ass. Would you eat it? "God no." I love how easily you lie to yourself.

According to Eulberg, he and wife Jennifer Robledo "wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours. Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken."

Eulberg says, "The universal reaction was, 'Oh my God, I couldn't eat that.' But each individual piece was cooked separately; all I did was set them together on the plate. It was delicious.

Ah, so all the different pieces were cooked separately. In that case I call all the crab legs. "But--" But nothing, pass the butter. "You can't have ALL the crab legs." I can and I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the kid's table. They get me over there.

Keep going for two more shots of the taste sensation.

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Just In Time For Thanksgiving: Pills To Make Your Farts Smell Like Roses Or Chocolate


Seen here looking like hipster Clown Santa, French inventor Christian Poincheval poses with a CG version of a pill he invented that can allegedly make farts smell like roses, violets or chocolate. The pills contain 100% all-nature ingredients (i.e. fennel, blueberries and seaweed) and cost €10 (~£8, ~$12.50) per jar of 60 pills. Obviously, I recommend taking at least two bottles before sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner.

Mr Poincheval said he came up with the idea for the pills one evening when he was enjoying a hearty meal with some friends.

"Our farts were so smelly we were nearly suffocated. Something had to be done," he said.

So he began researching natural ingredients that would reduce flatulence and after months of experimentation came up with the recipe for his pills.

"Our farts were so smelly we were nearly suffocated. Something had to be done." Yeah, no f***ing kidding something had to be done. You should have FOUND SOME NEW FRIENDS. You know, some friends that can exercise a little discretion and not let their sphincters go flapping around like flags in a breeze.

Thanks to Thaylor H, who informed the best way to mask the smell of a fart is to do it at least 20-yards away from another person, preferably in the woods (the bears will just have to deal with it).

'Tis The Season: Laser-Etching A Pumpkin Pie


Because tomorrow is Thanksgiving, this is a short video of a pumpkin pie being laser-etched with the image of a pirate ship. Or maybe it's supposed to be one of those Pilgrim ships. *reading Youtube description* Ah, it's the Mayflower. Damn, it would have been cooler if it was a pirate ship.

Keep going for the video, then make sure to down at least a half dozen laxatives tomorrow morning to make room for the feast.

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Heck Yeah, Pluto: Planets Of The Solar System Glassware


This is the Planetary Glass Set being sold by ThinkGeek ($50). It features all nine planets of the solar system (f*** yeah, Pluto -- low-five!) and the sun. The eight "real" planet glasses are all 10-oz, the Sun is 16-oz, and Pluto is 4-oz. So, which one do you want to drink out of? Actually, I don't want to know. "Uranus." I JUST SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW. Now you're weird to me.

Keep going for a couple more shots in case you've ever wondered what's REALLY on the inside of the sun (SPOILER: orange juice!).

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Ultra Conservative Christian Lady Goes To Museum, Tries To Debunk Evolution, Fails Beyond Miserably


This is a video of ultra conservative Christian Megan Fox (not that Megan Fox, trust me) taking a trip to the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago to debunk their 'Evolving Earth' exhibit and audit it for a liberal (aka scientific, in her mind) bias. It starts off awful and ends worse, and that's even looking past the shoddy camerawork (which wasn't easy). I posted three short teaser highlights for the video first, then the whole 30-minute thing in case you really, really like torturing yourself. Although I'd still suggest you try hanging yourself from the ceiling with some of those giant meat-hooks in your back first.

Keep going for the videos while I cross all my fingers and my toes Megan is just a very convincing troll.

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'Jurassic World' Trailer: Welp, We Went Too Far with Dinosaur Cloning Again


Though the Jurassic World trailer wasn't scheduled to premiere until Thursday, Universal has apparently decided to give us all an early, "Happy Thanksgiving; also, please don't play God," because here it is:

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Alien Facehugger Dog Leash Is A Real Product


This is the Alien Facehugger Dog Leash made and sold by Etsy shop GCFX. It costs $150, which is a little out of my dog leash budget (I use three shoelaces tied together and a safety pin). Also, the facehugger is actually attached to a black fabric harness, which is hard to see in this photo because it blends in with the dog. Speaking of -- what kind of dog is that anyway? "Stuffed." Do those make good guard dogs? I'm thinking about growing weed.

Keep going for a couple closeups.

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Lettuce Sleep In Peace: The Cheeseburger Bedding Set


What do you say -- sleep between my buns?

Remember that pizza bedding set? Well now there's a cheeseburger version (available HERE for around $80). I'll tell you what: instead of big spoon/little spoon, I'll pretend to be a pickle and you pretend to be a jalapeno. Then we'll have a pillow fight. Man, this is going to be the best sleepover ever.

Thanks to TBTMH, who made a special sauce reference. Gross!