Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Nope: Great White Trying To Tear Through A Diving Cage


This is a minute long video of a great white shark in South Africa trying to bite through a diving cage so it can eat the delicious (albeit screaming) morsels inside. Now we all know the smell of blood attracts sharks, but I'm pretty sure this video serves as proof positive that the smell of shit filling wetsuits doesn't repel them.

Keep going for the video.

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Batman Vs. Superman Batmobile LEGO Set Revealed


This is the first shot of the new LEGO Batmobile set for the upcoming Batman Vs. Superman movie. The set will be released January 1st of 2016, contain 306 pieces, and retail for $30. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of this Batmobile and I hope Superman kicks Batman's ass for driving it. And I'm not just saying that because I've always had a crush on Catwoman and that would give me the perfect opportunity to make my move, but I haven't exactly been stockpiling cans of Fancy Feast because I like the taste myself.

Thanks to BlueRaspberry, who is probably thrilled to learn that buying so much Fancy Feast is what got me into extreme couponing in the first place.

Real Things: Bread That Looks Like Watermelons


Watermelon bread is bread made with dough that's been colored and rolled in a way that, when baked and sliced, resemble pieces of watermelon. It doesn't taste like watermelon though, it only looks like it. There will be no seed spitting competition after you finish your toast.

The impetus, however, was apparently that kids might not have good appetites during the summer's hot weather. But if bread was watermelon-shaped, children would want to eat it.

Personally, I don't need bread to look like watermelons to eat it. I will eat bread whatever it looks like BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU MAKE SANDWICHES. You could make a loaf of bread that looks exactly like a piece of shit and I will still ask you where the cold-cuts, cheese and mayo are with zero hesitation.

Keep going for a bunch more shots and a tutorial in case you want to make your own.

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U.S. Company Challenges Japan To Giant Mech Battle


In other sad robot news, MegaBots, a U.S. robotics company, has challenged a Japanese robotics company (Suidobashi Heavy Industries -- the maker of the Kuratas personal mech) to a giant robot battle. Now I'm not much of a betting man (I'm a former gambling addict, among a bunch of other kinds of former addict) but I'm pretty sure when it comes to robots you bet your money on Japan. They seem to be really ahead of the curve on that shit. And, with that in mind, there is no question in my mind I will fall off the wagon and bet my family's entire life savings on Japan.

Keep going for a video of the challenge being issued, as well as some footage of the U.S. battle mech in action.

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It Has Begun: Robot Kills Worker At Volkswagen Plant


In news that proves it's time to start disassembling anything with metal parts, a 22-year old worker was killed at a Volkswagen plant near Kassel, Germany after an industrial robot slammed him against a metal plate. For reference, nobody deserves to go out like that.

Heiko Hillwig said Wednesday the 22-year-old was part of a team that was setting up the robot when it grabbed and crushed him against a metal plate.

Hillwig said initial conclusions indicate that human error was to blame, rather than a problem with the robot.

Wait -- human error? I'm pretty sure that was a robot error. Sure you should know to never try assembling a robot with its power turned on, but who threw the punch? Rest in peace, unnamed worker, you are the reason we will fight.

Thanks to Dick, UniDude, Sarah Conner, Chris and Robot Overlord, the last of which probably only sent this to emphasize the frailty of humans. Sarah Conner -- take him out.

Man Launches Wheelbarrow With Giant Firecracker


This is a video of Youtuber bra1Nphuk (I see what you did there) launching an overturned wheelbarrow almost fifty feet with the help of a Cobra 6 firecracker, which packs 48.5-grams of explosive powder (versus 2-3 grams for an M-80). The landing is most spectacular. If I were a judge I would be holding up a '10' sign over my head right now. I am not a judge though so the sign reads 'SHOW ME UR DING-DONG' (it was left over from a pride celebration party).

Keep going for the video.

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My Doctor Is Going To Hate Me: Pizza Fried Chicken


Because I'm just itching to put on my next twenty pounds, this is the Napoli Crispy Pizza Fried Chicken available from KFC Hong Kong. Apparently it has a pizza flavored breading, including mozzarella and cheddar cheeses. It looks like maybe some kind of marinara too? Would I try it? Probably. Would I choke on a bone? Absolutely. That's why my mom only lets me eat chicken nuggets now. One time at a family reunion I choked on a chicken bone and my mom had to take me to the hospital and I missed the rest of the reunion which was actually fine with me because I'm from West Virginia and all my cousins are f***ing weird and make me uncomfortable.

Thanks to Taylor, who's still hoping for steak flavored chicken because then you could get the taste of steak for way cheaper.

Rising From The Ashes: The Dress Of The Phoenix


This is The Dress Of The Phoenix. I don't really have any more information than that except it looks cool and also looks long enough to comfortably wear without underwear. Unless it actually catches fire, then you're gonna wish you were wearing underwear. Right now I wish I was wearing underwear because I thought that was just going to be a fart but it sounded and felt way more ambitious than that.

Thanks to Breann, who expected more fiery color in a Dress Of The Phoenix. Then maybe you should make your own!