This is a short video of a World Cup 2018 attendee (who looks suspiciously like he might be Mac's son from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) in Russia lighting a cigarette in the stands thanks to a magician's flaming wallet. Apparently lighters of any kind aren't allowed in the stadiums, but security doesn't check for magic flaming prop wallets. This is valuable information. Now just how I'm going to use this valuable information remains to be seen, but I can almost guarantee it will involve accidentally setting my pants on fire.
Keep going for the video, complete with commentator commentary.
This is a video of the aftermath following a Hyatt hotel valet in Sydney, Australia managed to park a Porsche under an orange SUV. A witnesses's account, who thought they were filming a movie at first because why on earth would a valet park a car under another car in real life?:
"I saw the valet hit the car in front from a parked position," said Jonathan Bouzaid
"He then must have panicked and hit the accelerator causing the Porsche to go further under the orange car and pushing the white car into the bollards," Bouzaid said.
"I think the valet wasn't aware of the power that you get when starting a Porsche,"
The valet had to be cut free from the wreckage but wasn't hurt and was sent home to rest, said Camilla Cooper, a spokeswoman from the Hyatt Regency hotel in central Sydney.
Wait -- the valet was sent home to rest, or sent home to find a new job? Because I feel like Hyatt isn't going to be thrilled about him still parking cars for their hotel after an incident like this. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the first thing a driver sees when they're pulling their car up for valet is a sign that reads, "It's cool, he doesn't work here anymore."
Keep going for the video, which unfortunately doesn't include the 5-star valeting in progress.
This is the $650 Faux Dragon or Dinosaur Foot Waste Basket available from Regal Robot. Since each foot is hand-finished to order, you can request if you want more of a dinosaur or dragon coloration, although I'm not sure what the difference is. Athough, $650? I'm pretty sure you could rent a time machine and go back to the Cretaceous Period and saw the foot off an actual dinosaur carcass for that (just watch out for other scavengers). "You can't rent time machines." Maybe not where you're at, but they're plentiful where I live. "And where do you live?" In my mind.
This is a video demonstration of the University Of Tokyo's relatively terrifying DRAGON ('Dual-rotor embedded multilink Robot with the Ability of multi-deGree-of-freedom aerial transformatiON' -- that was a stretch) aerial robot, a snake-like robot made of interconnected sections that can fly thanks to a pair of ducted motors attached to each segment. It was designed to be able to change shape to squeeze through narrow passages, and will be able to manipulate objects thanks to finger-like pincers on each end. Now just imagine this thing a hundred times larger and weaving its way between skyscrapers. Scary, right? Now imagine it a hundred times smaller and trying to fly its way into your anus. Neither one sounds fun, does it? "I say the butt one is a maybe." Ugh, I knoooow, but we hate robots, remember?
In 'What do you mean I don't get to keep the pimp cup it comes in?' news, this the Guinness World Record holder for the world's most expensive milkshake, the $100 LUXE Milkshake from New York City eatery Serendipity 3. No word if it comes with a money-back guarantee to bring all the boys to the yard, but it better.
The record setting drink is served in a glass that's designed by Master Artist and Kellie DeFries, the 'Crystal Ninja'. The custom glass is covered with over 3,000 premium Swarovski crystals. The drink itself begins with Jersey cow milk which is known for its high butterfat content; Tahitian vanilla ice cream made from slow-grown, sun-cured vanilla beans; Devonshire luxury clotted cream, a thick and rich cream produced in Devon, England; Madagascar vanilla beans; 23 karat edible gold; whipped cream that's made from the milk of grass fed cows and infused with simple syrup and vanilla; Le Cremose Baldizzone (donkey caramel sauce [made with donkey milk]), a unique sauce made from Venezuelan cocoa, Piedmont hazelnuts, fresh donkey's milk, and cane sugar; and lastly Luxardo Gourmet Maraschino Cherries which are produced in produced in Luxardo, Italy.
Admittedly, those do sound like some quality ingredients, although I'm not sure I have a refined enough palate to appreciate them. I'm fine with a $5 Banana Split Blizzard from Dairy Queen. Sometimes I feel like even that's too decadent for me. "Well you are a dumpster Hobbit." I don't even know what that means but my mom is nodding yes.
This is the 1/6 scale light-up HAL 9000 USB drive available from Master Replicas Group. The unit comes with a removable keyring and HAL's eye glows red when plugged in. It's available in two models: a $25 unlimited edition 16GB drive, and a $65 numbered limited edition of 1,000 32GB version. For reference, you can get a regular 16GB USB drive for like $6, a 32GB for $12, and a 64GB for $16. Those ones just won't look like HAL 9000. You have to decide if that's something you're willing to pay for, and if you're willing to pay an even higher markup for a limited edition. Thankfully, my wallet made my decision for me. "What did it say?" Wallets don't talk. "But if it could." It would say I have a sweet ass and loves spending long hours smashed between it and the seat of my computer chair. But that's just my guess.
Because what's the future of heavily processed wieners if not taking to the skies, this is the Oscar Mayer jetpack the company just added to its fleet of Wienermobiles. The jetpack is piloted by a superhero named Super Hotdogger, because apparently getting wieners into the hands of people who need them is a noble cause. "Wait for the p0rn parody." Don't even joke about it. You may recall they previously introduced the Wienermini, Wienerrover, Wienercycle And Wienerdrone last year. Wow, at this rate their fleet is going to look like the world's craziest used car lot by 2020.
Keep going for a movie style poster and a video of Super Hotdogger doing his thing (flying around handing out wieners).